Further Proof That Danny's a Wimp and Sam's a Demon Spawn
by Tori Stone
Summary: Danny, I really hope you're reading this. Make Sam read it too. Distract her. Give me enough time to get out of this closet. Seriously, I've been in here for three hours while she's been trying to kill me. Please distract her. My legs are cramping. Please.


**Okay, OKAY, let me explain where I've been for the last month.**

**I have been suffering TERRIBLE writer's block, not to mention working 40 hours a week. I've barely had time to eat between work and school and other obligations. I haven't even written anything for my own projects.**

**And, let's be real, I'm 19. I got a little lazy in my spare time.**

**But I'm back with a fiery vengeance. This one-shot is me getting my writing chops back in practice, and then I'm gonna be an updating fool. Get ready, FanFiction. Tori's back.**

**Hope this starts to make up for my long absence. Enjoy.**

**OH, I don't own Danny Phantom or much of anything, really. (:**

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**Further Proof That Danny's a Wimp and Sam's a Demon Spawn**

**November 15, 2012**

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Greetings, my loyal followers! So glad you're here for another installment of...

Will Danny Ever Grow The Balls To Make A Move On Sam?, AKA, Further Proof That Danny's A Wimp And Sam's A Demon Spawn.

I know it's been a while since my last installment, and I apologize. But, to be honest, there wasn't a whole lot going on. Um...life got in the way. Little of this, little of that. Ghost battles here and there, not to mention Danny Phantom swooping in a complicating things. Again. Oh, and school. 'Cause I, you know. I go to there.

But I believe I have just the entry to fix everything. Guys, this one is big. It starts early this morning in the park, and ends with me in my current position. Which, if you're curious, is the fetal position in Danny's closet while Sam tries to kick the door down. And by tries I mean IS STILL TRYING.

I've been here for three hours.

Interested?

Let's go with a live-action point of view for this installment. And away we go...

I have been holding my breath for a solid two minutes now. _This has to be some kind of record_, I think, before brushing the thought off and narrowing my watering eyes in concentration. Any little noise could alert them that I am watching. They are so close, so unbelievably close to crossing that microscopic line between best friends and something..._more_, and I'll be damned if I'm the one to screw it up. Nope. Not considering how hard I've worked to push them to that threshold.

We're at the park. Or, they're at the park, and I'm...erm..._observing_ from the bushes. I try to shy away from the terms 'stalking' or 'lurking' because, let's face it, that sounds a little negative. So I'm simply observing. From the bushes. On all fours so they can't see me. Or my cameras.

They've been here all afternoon. It's infuriating. I got here, what, six hours ago? Just to be crouching in a bush while they leaned so close and spoke so softly that literally a light breeze could knock them into a kiss. I've been silently cheering Danny on from my hiding place, because, hey, that's what best friends do. Right? Ah, who cares what you think.

Sam's acting...weird. Like...flirting weird. And that's...well, that's weird. Sam doesn't flirt, at least not very well. But she's been acting like a pro all afternoon. Laughing in the right pauses. Smiling. I caught her twirling her hair in her fingers earlier, on film. Oh, the endless blackmail possibilities... But that's for another time. _Any second now_, I've been telling myself._ Any second now and they'll kiss, and I'll have it on film, and me and Jazz will be rollin' in the dough_.

It is an obvious fact that I've placed bets with just about every single person in Amity Park on all aspects of Danny and Sam's relationship. It's almost as obvious as DANNY AND SAM ARE ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY ARE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER AND JESUS CHRIST IF THEY DON'T KISS SOON I'M GONNA SCREAM.

Sorry. My foot fell asleep just now. Had to change positions.

Danny's staring at his knee. He's got this freaky look on his face, like he's either about to sink through the ground or throw up. Oh, Christ, don't let him throw up. Not now. He keeps glancing up at Sam, who's watching him with this 'don't even think about it' look on her face. He's turning green.

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. He's caving. It's too much pressure for him. Maybe...maybe I could distract him...and he could calm down a little...I mean, I would suffer the wrath of Sam (Lord have mercy on my soul) but...but that would be worth it, to save Danny from that humiliation...

Okay. I'm doing this. Shins, forgive me now, for thou knowest not the pain to be delivered by the combat boots adorning Sam's feet in three...two...one...

I let my PDA tilt out of my hand and clatter to the ground. The bush I'm in is kind of uphill from where they're sitting, so the device starts rolling and clattering down the hill. I suck in a deep breath and tumble out after it, clambering to my feet and making a distressed cry as it slid out of my grasp. I feel Sam's death glare on my approaching figure, but I choose to keep my attention on my PDA, examining the screen for any scratches or scuffs.

"What do you think you're doing, Tucker?" She demands, suddenly two inches from my face. I ignore the urge to gulp, but I can't stop myself from taking a step back from her. She's absolutely fuming. I think I feel my heartbeat in my toes.

"Oh! Sam!" I squeak. I peer around her shoulder and spotted Danny, still frozen in the place I'd last seen him, though his skin had returned to its' normal color. "Danny! I didn't know you guys were -"

"Save it." She snarls. "Get out."

"It's a free country, I can -"

"NOW!" She snaps, and I practically sprint away. I'm grinning like the Cheshire Cat, though, almost cackling with glee. I left my other camera set up on a tripod in the bush, fixated on the soon-to-be-couple. _And_ Sam forgot to kick me.

I slow down when I near the edge of the park, before looping around the way I originally came in. I crawl up the opposite side of the hill, sliding back into my hiding place with ease. They're talking again, Sam still obviously agitated from my sudden appearance. Danny, however, seems completely at ease, watching the way she shoots accusing glances up the hill with this weird pervert grin on his face.

He can thank me later.

I'm too far away to hear everything they talk about, but I do catch the occasional word here and there. "Idiot" was used several times by Sam (shocker) and "kill him" escaped Danny's lips in the middle of a sentence. Though, he was still smiling when he said it, so I don't know how legitimate that threat was.

I almost miss it when it happens. He had that look of concentration he gets when he takes a particularly difficult math quiz, his brow furrowed and his lips pursed and turned just slightly to the left, as Sam rambled on about something (probably her plan to skin me alive and drop me in a pool of salt). I didn't think much of it. I was yawning, covering my mouth to muffle the sounds of air rushing in and out, when through my slit, watering eyes, I see sudden movement. My mouth snaps shut and my eyes pop open as the scene fully sinks in.

Danny had actually reached over, grabbed Sam's chin, pulled her down to him, and kissed her. Ho-ly crap. He just...did it. No thought or planning or anything. He just kissed her.

He's _still_ kissing her.

"YES!" The word explodes out of my chest before I can stop it. I clamp my hands over my mouth, my eyes bulging so wide they're practically touching the lenses of my glasses, and I pray as hard as I can that somehow they both missed it.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm pretty sure they heard me in the Ghost Zone.

I gather my equipment and scramble to a standing position, chancing a glance down the hill. Sam and Danny both are charging at me, though Danny can't stop laughing. I yelp, though, at the look on Sam's face.

And it's off through the park I go, unable to stop the little yelps and whimpers of fear that escape my mouth as Sam nips at my heels. Danny's place is closest, so, naturally, I go there. I barely have time to gasp "Hello" to Mrs. Fenton before I'm tearing up the stairs. I can hear Sam's footsteps in my ears, she's just inches behind me. Distantly I hear Danny talking to his mother, but I'm too focused on getting through his bedroom door without dying to even attempt to understand what they're talking about. I feel Sam's fingertips graze the back of my shirt and I scream.

Er, I mean, I, uh...I grunt. Because I'm a man. Men don't scream. They grunt.

Yeah.

So long story short, I dive into Danny's closed and use a few bungee cords to strap the door shut. _Why_ he has bungee cords in this closet, I'll never know. Sam starts kicking and slapping at the door, shouting all kinds of threats through the wood. And I just sink to the floor and breathe, before pulling out my camera and playing their kiss over and over again. I really did cackle that time, which just doubled Sam's efforts to break the door down. Danny came in at some point, and now we're here.

So, there you have it, readers. They kissed. They _actually kissed_. And Danny was the one to initiate it. Good on you, Danny! I know you've been checking my blog every three minutes for this update, so, yay! You get the girl, I get the cash!

Assuming I can make it out of this closet without losing one of my limbs.

Until next time, my loyal subjects. Ladies, stay beautiful. Dudes, keep it real.

Foley OUT.

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**Also, Stone OUT.**


End file.
